What If Politicians Really Are Honest?

Both sides of the political spectrum are bombarding me with messages about their opponents. Meanwhile, Whatfinger News is presenting both sides equally so I can sort through their verbiage.

If the politicians are all being honest, and the claims they are making about their opponents are true, how in hell did we stoop so low when these wretched examples of humanity even dared to run for public office? Why are they not all in jail?

We hear about Team Red and Team Blue fighting it out with rallies and voter registration drives including the Team Blue four just indicted in Texas for voter fraud. So visceral is the fight that members of Team Blue face years in prison in their attempt to defeat the other team in Texas. A member of the Blue Team has even fired a gun (which the Blue Team wants abolished) at members of the Red Team (Scalise).

Apparently, the main battle is to control the vote in congress even though each has an equal vote. Since we’re using the team analogy, maybe they should adopt my solution to the struggles you see on the football field. What would happen if you gave each player their own football…would the tackling end?

If politicians were playing my brand of football, they would increase the ferocity of the fight so they could get control of all of the footballs on the field. Fights during a baseball game also includes tackling which is strange because baseball teams are armed with bats. Maybe they just confuse tackling with hugs? Those darn men!

When physical confrontation is awkward, both teams resort to the playground tactic of calling names. I recognize those names because the post office delivers their political flyers daily albeit I haven’t noticed any use of “poopyhead”.

Team Red has a problem with over 90% of the media cheering for the Blue Team. The Red Team solution is to raise lots of money. They buy email address lists of known supporters of the Red Team they have purchased (about 10¢ each) to pay the media so the Red Team can run ads to tell us how terrible the media is for not being objective…say what?

Here’s an unorthodox idea…Red Team should buy the Blue Team email address lists and send emails to get Blue Team votes. If logic and facts convert just one out of thousand Blue email addresses…that would cost less than the Blue Team is spending to hire “spontaneous” demonstrators.

While I’m on the subject of email addresses purchased by politicians to solicit money:
The Arizona Red Team should be aware that I moved three years ago…I suggest you find a better email address broker…they are (literally) a dime a dozen. I can give you the list…but I’d have to charge you.