Acceptance of terms of use:
By reading this blog and its contents, you acknowledge that the owner of said blog smokes a pipe, owns several guns and other lethal weapons, harbors and abets two feral felines, consumes questionable amounts of alcoholic beverages and enthusiastically voted for Donald Trump. He is also proficient in three languages: English, sarcasm and profanity which he uses to express his opinions while reporting the truth as he sees it.
Without limiting the foregoing, you agree to:
Never proselytize the advantages of tobacco abstinence
Avoid frightening or harassing the feral felines
Laugh at each and every hilarious joke
Always replace toilet seats to their original upright position
Never try to sell me anything over the internet
Note: use of the blog in any way that abuses, defames, stalks, annoys, threatens, harasses or violates the rights of privacy, publicity, intellectual property or other legal rights of the owner of said blog (now or hereafter recognized) or which encourages conduct which would violate any law or give rise to civil or criminal liability or post, publish, transmit, distribute, disseminate or upload any inappropriate, infringing, defamatory, profane, indecent, obscene, lewd, lascivious, filthy, excessively violent or illegal/unlawful material or matters, including, without limitation, information, topics, names or other material may result in demonstration of aforementioned guns and lethal weapons or the enthusiastic participation by the owner of said blog.
All material in said blog is acknowledged as copyright by this blog including material liberally (or conservatively) plagiarized from other websites.
If you are a human and are vertical and taking nourishment, that thereby constitutes total and unabashed acceptance and tolerance of these terms. You and your antecedents and all future generations will be held liable for any disregard of these terms and your name shall be cast upon the anals (sic) of history now and forever amen.
Should you have a problem with these terms, that would indicate that you believe I care. Please note that any litigation will involve my lawyer who is the meanest SOB in the valley.
(Took me a whole bottle of wine to create this.)